I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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