There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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