your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
