yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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