Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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