After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
