It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
