bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Verdict: uncircumcised.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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