Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
