yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize