my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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