its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
