I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
