i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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