yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
