she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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