They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
