her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
