just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
