i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
