Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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