every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize
