K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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