you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
