He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
