Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
