1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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