Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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