I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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