I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
