He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
