dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
