I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
