Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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