Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
