VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
