i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
organizing the empties. That sober.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
