He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
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