1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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