How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
