So drunk its hurt
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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