Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
