Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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