Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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