it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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