so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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