Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize