I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
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Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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