yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
