So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
