I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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