I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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