so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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