Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
handjob tips. give me some.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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