Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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