Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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