I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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