Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
