I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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