So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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