you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
